You know the saying, “Everybody is going through something, be kind”?
That has really been sitting with me this past week.
I needed kindness.
I needed grace.
And honestly, I needed strong arms to make me feel safe for a little while.
Life has been heavy.
When I am at my lowest, one of the first things I do is make sure I go visit my loved one. Some people may not understand that, but that is where I get to put the hard moments down for a minute. That is where I can be vulnerable. That is where I can talk through the things weighing on me, and somehow he helps me carry them.
People often assume the incarcerated individual is always the one needing emotional support, but sometimes it is us on the outside trying to hold everything together.
My cousin, who was really more like my sister, passed away in 2023 from Glioblastoma. It came out of nowhere. Fourteen months later, she was gone.
Watching someone you love disappear so quickly changes you.
Now her mother is elderly and alone, without the person who took care of her for so many years. I try to step in and help when I can, but at the same time I also care for my two senior parents while working a full-time job.
Life be life-ing.
And I know I am not the only one carrying multiple heavy things at once.
That is why I wanted to share this.
Sometimes we get so caught up surviving, supporting everyone else, showing up for work, handling responsibilities, dealing with the prison system, caring for family, and just trying to make it through the day, that we forget to take care of ourselves too.
Please do not lose yourself in the process of carrying everyone else.
Rest when you need to.
Cry when you need to.
Ask for help when you need to.
Take the visit.
Take the walk.
Take the moment.
You cannot pour from an empty cup.
And if nobody has told you lately, you are allowed to be held too.
Families impacted by a broken system are often carrying far more than people realize.
We are the unseen casualties.
But we are still standing.